I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
