ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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