Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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