did you get engaged???
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
