@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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