Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
