if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize