at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
