Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
