walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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