I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
