a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Everyone says I win the strip club
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
