he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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