stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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