I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
