I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Enjoy the penises
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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