We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
