dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
