I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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