Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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