somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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