This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
