But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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