Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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