who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
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He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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