I just pynch a tree in the face
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
