My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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