Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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