Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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