my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
