I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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