So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
