we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
