the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it's great music for shaving your balls
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
