Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
