spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
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you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
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It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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