I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
