Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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