What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
