No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
