Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
