pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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