You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
