I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
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Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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