Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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