at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
