sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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