he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
