Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
