I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
third nipple confirmed
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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