she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I want to fling myself into the sun
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
