Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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