Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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