Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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