so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
