I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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