So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
