he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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