she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
wow bdsm is so cute
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
