I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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