Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm both gender and math confused
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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