remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
