Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?