oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?