they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.