I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
