so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
